The Couple Relationship – your opportunity for growth

Men and women are by nature very different. It is normal for a couple relationship to be challenging. Many people will have the notion that it is their partner who must change for the problems to be solved.

WINTER 2021 Couple therapy is in high demand. We offer therapy in English together, i.e. we, as male and female colleagues, meet you as a couple. Thus, both partners will feel supported and understood. We experience, however, that couple therapy with only one therapist also works well.

Please feel free to make your choice and contact us by phone or e-mail (contact info on the right side of this page). For prices, location and booking, please click here. Datakonsulent: Sett inn lenke til norsk side: Timeavtale og Priser. På den norske siden skriver vi på både på norsk og engelsk, slik løser vi den. Dermed forenkler vi arbeidet hver gang vi trenger å endre våre priser eller vilkår.

Can your couple relationship be saved?

This question is frequently asked by couples who seek our help. The couple relationship can be saved when both partners are devoted to this goal by working hard for it. If your problems have developed over many years it may take some time to repair.

Does any of this sound familiar?

As partners we fall into roles that we play. We get stuck in repetitive behavioural patterns and we do it unconsciously, i.e. we act on auto-pilot:

  • We fight far too often.
  • We fight about the same things again and again.
  • We are drifting apart and live separate lives.
  • One partner criticizes and the other withdraws.   
  • It is my partner who is causing the problems in our relationship.
  • What happended to romance?
  • Our sex-life is not what it was.
  • We long to be close and to feel understood.
  • I have, or my partner has, affairs.
  • Me, or my partner, suffers the consequences of affairs; jalousie, lack of trust.
  • I, or we, struggle with ex-partners and step-children.
  • We need new inspiration.
  • Etc.

Does any of the above sound familiar? Then Creative Couple Work might be something for you and your partner!


Creative Couple Work – The method

Creative Couple Work is founded by Helena løvendal and Nick Duffell* and is based on several directions within psychology into a holistic concept. The method has proven its relevance as you and your partner will learn to look upon yourself and each other and especially the couple relationship in an entirely new perspective.

Creative Couple Work differs from other couple therapy methods in the recognition that a couple relationship will trigger conflicts. When couples try to avoid these conflicts, the relationship will cease to develop and stagnate. If on the other hand we use the conflicts as stepping stones for growth they will push us out of our habitual patterns and provide an opportunity to move on towards deeper intimacy.

Support in the implementation: To change reactions we have on our own is difficult as they are part of our subconscious defence system. If we can find the courage to reflect upon ourselves and our part in the couple relationship, we may discover what we are trying to avoid as it is too difficult to meet.This in turn may encourage your partner to develop and mature. Should you decide to have couple therapy with two therapists, one of each gender, both you and your partner will experience to be understood. Together we will find the reasons for your actions and reactions hence changes will be easier to implement.

We are the result of our upbringing
A lot of our behaviour stems from what we learned in our family of origin. Here we can discover hidden keys which may open doors into a world free from old habits. Together we will work upon the habits and patterns you want to change in order for the relationship to provide both partners with the opportunity to enjoy life.

Maturation and transformation
When you and your partner are willing to relate to each other in other ways than your habitual ones you may discover new sides in each other to enjoy and cherish. Gradually you will feel secure enough to show your true self. This in turn will deepen your love for each other and your relationship will be based upon openness, trust and intimacy.

*Helena Løvendal and Nick Duffell are both psychotherapists and couple workers, as well as the founders of The Center for Gender Psychology in London. Together they have published the book Sex, love and the Dangers of Intimacy, here. Helena Løvendal offers seminars for couples based on the method Creative Couple Work in UK, Europe and Scandinavia. To learn more about Creative Couple Work, please follow this link:

https://www.genderpsychology.com/phdi/p1.nsf/supppages/8361?opendocument&part=3

Your relationship is beautiful. Try to cherish it.

If your relationship is in trouble, the last thing which you should do is let it fall apart. Cutting loose from your relationship without trying your best could potentially rob you of years of happiness and adversely affect your family.

Creative CoupleWork offers you this challenging idea

“When you think it’s all over it may have only just begun …”

From
Sex, Love and the Dangers of Intimacy: A Guide to Passionate Relationships When the Honeymoon is Over
by Nick Duffell and Helena Løvendal, available here.